What happens when you “ponder” with another person? In other words, what are your conversations like?
- Do we find some conversations life-giving and some conversations draining?
- Have we avoided people that we find the conversations are draining?
In the last article, we discussed how Jesus’s mother pondered on the things that God had shown her. She could have pondered on all kinds of fears and confusion, but she gathered up the treasures she heard from God and pondered them in her heart.
In this article we are going to explore the helpful ways to ponder with someone . . . and the not so helpful…
Do we think it’s the specific person that makes the conversation unhelpful,
but what if it is not?
What do I mean by that?
What if it is our approach that makes the difference between helpful and not so helpful?
My theory is you do not have control over the other person, but you do have control over your choices. You can make a difference in any conversation.
- What are you expecting?
- What are you bringing to the conversation?
- What are you really communicating?
Dictionary.com – “the fact of being deliberate or purposive.” synonyms: deliberateness · intent · design · calculation · premeditation · preconception · forethought · plan · planning · preplanning · advance planning
You may be thinking… “oh I have been intentional, but the other person just didn’t “get” it.
Let’s look at what we are intentional about?
- Do we plow into a conversation with a single focus to make our point or to make our request?
- How many times are we oblivious to the person in front of us because we have an agenda?
Does this mean we can never communicate something important?
Jesus preached the Good News of the Kingdom of Come. He had something important to convey for sure! But how did He do it?
Read and think through the gospel accounts of Jesus.
- Did His conversations start with where they were at, their felt needs?
- Did He respond to sick and poor with caring for their needs first?
- Did He respond to the religious people from their questions and thoughts?
Jesus did what the Father showed Him. Is that something we can do? Well, we are not Jesus, but we have access to God’s Spirit inside us. Perhaps it starts with learning to think like Jesus?
One more thought
Philippians 2:4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. NASB
** note the word merely… avoid the extreme of stuffing down your needs and what is important to you. This verse is encouraging us to also look to the needs of others.
Ponder the next few conversations you have coming up.
- What is important in their life?
- How could they feel heard first?
Please send me your thoughts and comments. I would love to hear what is important in your life!
On His Path of Joy
Great relationship tools Shell. Thank you!
When I am filled up in Jesus, I am not looking to others to meet my needs.
That is so true Joy. When we look to Jesus, He meets our needs and also flows through us to love others. How awesome is that! You are a true example of that Joy. I love my conversations with you.